Abuse in relationships and families of a borderline is a serious and complicated topic, but it's important to understand if you or someone you care about is the victim of abuse. It can be very difficult for people who are not experiencing this type of relationship to understand why their loved one might stay with someone who has hurt them repeatedly. This article will help explain how the cycle of abuse works, what types of abuse exist, and how they relate to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

What is the cycle of abuse?

The cycle of abuse is a pattern of abusive behavior that is repeated over time. The abuser and the victim can be in any relationship where one person has more power than the other—this includes romantic partners, family members, friends or work colleagues.

The cycle of abuse often starts with tension building up between the two people involved in the relationship. This tension might be caused by an argument, but it may also happen because one person feels ignored or controlled by another person. For example, an abuser might feel like his partner is not spending enough time with him or paying attention to what he wants her to do for him.

After this friction has built up for some time (often weeks), it will come out into open conflict as each person complains about what they don’t like about their partner and blames them for causing all their problems in life

How does the cycle of abuse relate to BPD?

BPD is a disorder that affects the way a person thinks and feels about themselves, and the way they think and feel about other people, often causing problems in relationships. People with BPD may have an unstable sense of self-image, they can feel extremely empty or alone, even when they’re surrounded by people who love them. They may also be very sensitive to rejection or criticism. Borderline personality disorder symptoms usually begin during adolescence or early adulthood – but sometimes they can start later in life.

Types of abuse in relationships and families of a borderline.

The Cycle of Abuse:

What is the cycle of abuse? The cycle of abuse refers to the pattern that relationships and families of Borderlines tend to follow. In this pattern, there are four different phases: tension building, acting out, contrition and honeymooning. This cycle can vary in its length and intensity depending on the severity or frequency of your partner’s BPD symptoms. The first phase is usually defined by an increase in demands on you from your borderline partner followed by an escalation in tensions between you two. In the second phase (acting out) these tensions lead to physical or verbal aggressive behavior on behalf of your partner towards yourself or others present at home such as children or pets; sometimes this may even include sexual acts against another individual if one is present at home during this time period for whatever reason (elderly parent living with them). As soon as a Borderline feels remorseful about his/her actions he/she will go straight into another phase known as contrition where they will try everything they can do make amends with those whom they have hurt emotionally, physically or verbally during their tirade which includes gestures like buying gifts or flowers which ultimately leads up until possibly even sex before finally returning back into another honeymoon period where both partners feel happy again without any worries about anything else besides each other until things start happening again when tension starts building up again leading back into another round where both parties continue going through cycles over again until something breaks down within their relationship causing them both pain once again resulting either divorce/separation/divorce mediation/mediation separation etcetera....

What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse is a form of mental abuse that is often experienced by people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Emotional abuse can take many forms, but typically involves belittling or insulting the victim. Other types of emotional abuse include:

  • Verbal - name calling, using put-downs, making threats and using guilt manipulation techniques
  • Non-verbal - being "judgy" about how others live their lives; controlling behavior that doesn't allow for mistakes or differences in opinion; limiting contact with family members or friends

What is physical abuse?

Physical abuse is one of the most obvious ways to spot a relationship with a Borderline. But what does physical abuse look like? It can include anything from hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, punching and biting to strangling or other violent actions that cause physical harm. Physical abuse is not limited to just one person in an intimate relationship with Borderlines; it’s common for both parties to be victims at different times.

Physical violence doesn't always come in the form of fists and feet flying either—it can also include more subtle tactics like threatening someone verbally or emotionally (and then backing up those threats with violence if they don't comply).

So how do you know if you're being abused? If your partner has BPD then it's likely that he or she has experienced some sort of psychological trauma in their past that may have contributed toward their current behavior patterns—but whether that trauma caused them to become abusive isn't always clear cut since many people who grew up around domestic violence have learned from an early age how this type of behavior affects relationships between loved ones (and thus carry these lessons through adulthood). That said...

What is verbal abuse?

Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can be verbal or non-verbal. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, verbal abuse includes:

  • Name calling
  • Insults
  • Criticism
  • Threats
  • Blaming
  • Put-downs  *Name-calling

If you think you may be experiencing verbal abuse, it's important to talk with someone about what's going on. If your loved one is being verbally abusive towards you or others in your family, there are steps that can be taken to help decrease or eliminate the behavior altogether.

Psychological abuse.

Psychological abuse includes gaslighting, projection, blame-shifting, shaming and humiliating the other person. The abuser may also use intimidation to control their partner. They might threaten to harm themselves or the children if you leave them.

This can be especially dangerous when combined with other types of abuse such as physical violence or sexual assault because psychological abuse can have a long lasting effect on the victim’s mental health and self esteem.

The term ‘gaslighting’ comes from a 1938 play called Gas Light where a husband tries to convince his wife that she is losing her mind by dimming the lights in their home and denying it happened when she points out what has happened."

Sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse is any type of sexual activity that is forced on someone against their will. It is any sexual activity with a person who is unable to give consent, or who does not want the sexual activity to happen. Sexual abuse can be physical, verbal and/or emotional (for example: psychological manipulation).

Sexual abuse can take many forms, including:

  • Non-consensual sex - when one person forces another to have sex with them; this includes rape or attempted rape; it also includes other forced sexual acts such as groping or fondling.
  • Indecent exposure - exposing one’s genitals in public without their consent; this may include flashing their genitals at others while masturbating themselves in front of others without the victim knowing what they had been exposed too so they can call the police without being identified by anyone else involved with this act because there were no witnesses around except from me because I was there watching him perform these acts before he did so again two days later after seeing each other for several months now (which means he was probably doing this type of thing since we first met) so now it's almost like we're both victims here together because we've both been victimized by him in different ways over time (but mostly just recently).

What are the signs that I am in an abusive relationship?

If you feel like you are walking on eggshells, always watching what you say or do for fear of setting off your partner, and you feel as though your partner has a short fuse, then this could be an abusive relationship.

You may also feel like there is no escape from the relationship because they have isolated you from family and friends. This can mean that they tell everyone how bad things are in your life so no one will ask questions. It can also mean they prevent access to social media sites which might cause others to see how unhappy you look in photos posted on these sites by blocking those sites altogether or deleting them before finding out why it was necessary for them to block all access instead of just limiting their own use of them until their partner feels better about themselves again."


The cycle of abuse is a difficult one to break. It takes a lot of courage and strength to face the situation head on, but knowing what you can do will help you get through it. By learning more about this pattern, you can start to see how your relationships may be affected by Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This will make it easier for both parties involved in the relationship because they understand each others needs better than before.