When you're trying to deal with a borderline and narcissist who is both emotionally and verbally abusive, it can be confusing. Borderlines are often called sociopaths or psychopaths. Narcissists are usually just given a name like "the toxic person." When you have two different names for the same thing, it's hard to compare them properly. The two types of abusers also use different techniques that make it hard to compare them together as well. However, there are some similarities between borderline and narcissistic abusers:

We compare the borderline and narcissistic relationship that is abusive.

As you can see, the borderline and narcissistic relationship is quite different. In some ways, it's almost like they're two sides of the same coin - or at least two people with a lot in common who are going through a rough patch together. But what's important is that when you're trying to work out whether your relationship is abusive or not, you need to look at more than just one person's behavior: both partners need to be taken into account if they spend enough time together.

Do they both use mental abuse to get over the guilt of not feeling bad?

Yes, they both use guilt to get over the guilt of not feeling bad.

One thing that many people do when they're feeling guilty is to mentally beat themselves up about it. They'll say something like: "I'm such an awful person for doing this." Or maybe even: "I feel so guilty."

The reason you might be hearing these thoughts from a Borderline or Narcissist is because they don't feel bad about abusing you, but do want to feel better about themselves. So instead of taking responsibility for their behavior (and therefore making themselves feel worse), they blame it on you—or on something else entirely unrelated!

Is their emotional abuse techniques similar? To them, are emotions something to be controlled?

The answer to this question is complex. In some ways, yes, they do. Borderlines and narcissists both use emotional abuse techniques on their partners to try and control them. They both want their partner to feel bad about themselves and they want their partner to feel guilty if they don’t do what they say or give them what they want.

However, there are also a lot of differences in how these two types of abusers operate emotionally behind closed doors. So let's take a look at some of these differences so we can get a better understanding of why each type acts the way does when it comes down to manipulating the emotions of those around them!

Their verbal abuse is different for each one. One is about making you look good and bad, the other is about changing reality.

If you want to know the difference between a Borderline and Narcissist, it's this: one is about making you look good and bad, the other is about changing reality.

If your husband thinks he's better than you, that's abuse. If he thinks you're a bad person that doesn't deserve him, that's abuse. If he ridicules your feelings or invalidates them because they don't line up with his own beliefs (and then gets angry when they don't line up with his beliefs), that's abuse.

The fact that these things come out of their mouths differently doesn't mean they aren't abusive behaviors—but it does mean we have to be able to identify them based on their behaviors instead of just going off what we think our partners are saying (or should be saying).

How similar are their sexual abuse techniques?

You may be asking yourself, "how similar are the sexual abuse techniques used by borderlines and narcissists?"

To answer that question, let's take a look at some common patterns shared by both types of abusers.

Both borderlines and narcissists tend to be manipulative. They both use guilt as a weapon against their partners, as well as fear of abandonment. For example, if you try to end a relationship with either one of them (or threaten to), they'll often threaten suicide and say things like "I can't live without you". This is meant to evoke feelings of guilt in you so that you won't leave them.

Both borderlines and narcissists are controlling in relationships; they want the power over their partner and will do anything necessary to maintain control over their partner's life choices. In order for this control mechanism to work properly on the victim's psyche though there needs to be something valuable enough about the victim worth controlling – otherwise there wouldn't really be any point trying so hard! So what makes up this "special" quality within each victim?

Abusive people come in many different types. It can be confusing when dealing with two very different people who are both abusive.

Both borderlines and narcissists are abusers. It's not their fault, but they can cause similar outcomes in your life. They may seem like they're very different types of people, but there are some similarities between them when you look at how they treat others.

They both have an inflated sense of self-importance or ego that leads to a lack of empathy for other people’s feelings or needs. They also tend to be extremely manipulative and controlling, which makes it hard for you to tell the difference between reality and what they want you to believe about yourself or the world around you. Borderlines do this through temper tantrums, manipulation with guilt trips and gaslighting: telling outright lies about things that never happened just so they feel better about themselves (these are called "pathological narcissism"). Narcissists do this by simply making up rules for everyone else in their lives - especially anyone who will listen (these are called "malignant narcissism"). This is why many people who suffer from borderline personality disorder often find themselves involved with narcissistic partners; because these two personality disorders often go hand-in-hand!


If you have been in an abusive relationship with a borderline or narcissist, it is important to know that there are others out there who have been through the same thing. You are not alone and you do not deserve to be treated this way. It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship because they will do everything they can to keep you around them but if you find yourself in that situation then please reach out for help from someone who knows what they're doing!